What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.