What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.