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Both Jokes

Utensils Puns
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
Onion Puns
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Food Quotes
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
Garden Quotes
"What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower?
They both have bees coming after them."
- Kim Roblin
Literary Pick Up Lines
Girl, it would be both a Crime and a Punishment if you don't let me take you out.
Nuts Puns
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
Friendship Quotes
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places."
— Mark Twain
Yard Puns
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record.
Sun Pick Up Lines
You and the sun have one thing in common. You are both radiant.
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Reading a shopping list, eh? I see we're both fans of the classics.
Do you prefer organic or local? Because I’m both.
Tableware Puns
What happens when you drink beer from a cup?
You both get drunk.
Orange Puns
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
A Duel For Love
A man gets home early from work and catches his wife in bed with another man... The husband challenges the other man to an old fashioned duel with his hand guns, whoever manages to shoot first and kill the other gets his wife. The other man agrees, so they go into another room so the wife doesn't have to see it. Once in the other room, the husband turns to the other man and says: "Why should either of us have to die? We will both fire a shot into the air and lay on the ground as if we're dead, when she comes in she will see our 'lifeless' bodies and rush to one of us, whoever she chooses can have her." The other man agrees again, so they fire into the air and collapse. The wife throws the door open and peers down at the two men, then backs out of the room and calls out: "Darling, you can come out! They're both dead!"
Clothes Pick Up Lines
Whoever said that chunky-knit sweater coats were ugly is both a fool and a liar.