What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.
It's pretty straight to the point.
May the mass times acceleration be with you.
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
Physics is like incest.
It’s all relative.
My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy.
Then I fell down the stairs and lost it all.
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
When I was in school I got a B in biology, a C in chemistry.
And an F in Physics.
Two sodium atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly one says “Oh, my God, I’ve lost an electron!” The other says “Lost an electron! Are you sure?” and the first replies “Yes, I’m positive!”
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
I got a C in Physics and my parents grounded me.
They say I don't understand the gravity of the situation.
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
Some people think nuclear physics is interesting.
Well, in my opinion it's really Bohring.
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested?
He was released without charge.
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too.
Speed and Velocity are brothers.
Velocity has a family, is rich and teaches classes around the world.
Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents.
They think Speed lacks Direction.
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
What did the nerdy duckling say ?
Quark Quark.
I sit in front if my ex in physics.
There used to be a lot of friction between us.
Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
She had power and time but didn't get the work done.
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
Physics student asks to go to bathroom.
Professor asks "Liquid, Solid or Gas?"
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; when life gives you apples, make physics equations.
(Looking at you Newton).
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.