Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.