Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”