Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?
It’s a skeleton crew.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
What does a skeleton play in a band?
A Trom-Bone.
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
What do you call a group of arms?
An army.
Someone said, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
So I through a dictionary at them.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
What did the doctor tell the skeleton who wanted to donate his body to science?
Spine on the dotted line.
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
How do you greet a skeleton in france?
"Bonejour."
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
What’s the least honest bone in the body?
The fibula.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
What happens when you shatter your funny bone?
You crack up.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
I'm glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms.
Otherwise, I'd have been amputated at birth.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
How heavy are your bones?
They are scale-a-ton.
Why is a baby showing the top of its head during labor a significant event?
Because that’s the baby’s crowning achievement.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.