Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.