Nut Jokes

A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
I used to work at a nut farm
The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
What nut is always begging for attention?
What is the angriest nut?
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy