A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together... During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.
The doctor emerges, and the wife rushes over. "How is my husband? What's his condition?"
The doctor replies: "Critical, miss."
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength. I call it "Book Club"