Chuck norris

The Action Hero Meeting
The Action Hero Meeting Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are reading a script at lunch. They are meeting to discuss Stallone's new movie *The Composers*, about the descendants of famous European composers joining forces to fight terrorism. Stallone says he'll play Beethoven, "My theme will be ode to joy. But get this: Joy is the name of my shotgun." "Nice," says Norris. "I'll be Mozart, and I'll conduct a symphony of pain!" "Sweet," says Stallone. "Well, Arnie? What about you? Who're you going to be?" Schwarzenegger thinks about this for a long moment, nods his head and says: "I'll be *Bach.*"
Chuck Norris walks into a bar.
He gets treated with great respect, since he’s such a talented actor.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.