What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath. She wasn't content.
I'm so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
Roses are red, violets are blue. There’s nothing in the world more prettier than you.
What is the lightest house a real estate seller sells?
A lighthouse, of course!
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself...
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
Why shouldn’t you let a man’s mind wander?
Because it’s way too little to be out all alone.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
If I was an enzyme, I'd be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
"Is taco yoga a thing yet? Someone get on that."
- Chisty Lowe
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
My moment in the sun.
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
You're so beautiful, even the leaves fall for you.
What did Adam say to his wife on Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
What do you call a camel with 3 humps?
Humphreys
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
Will you give me your number or will you let me spend the whole night guessing the digits?
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head!
Go to BabaMail
