Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Crispies!
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
A friend of mine swallowed some food colouring. He feels he dyed a little inside.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Hassock hassock, black spotted hassock. Black spot on a black back of a black spotted hassock.
A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The duck doesn’t say anything because it’s a duck.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Quasimodo would’ve been a great detective
He always had a good hunch.
September and October are considered to be the best months of the year, I say this from the b-autumn of my heart.
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?
A man is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
A woman gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"
The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Is your dad an Italian thief? Because you just stole a pizza my heart.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Keep calm and leprech-on.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
Did anybody ever consider that cannibalism would resolve both overpopulation – and world hunger?
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Why does North Korea excel at drawing straight lines?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
I like New York, unique New York, I like unique New York.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Packing is my expertise. So, I can easily fit into your heart.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
Go to BabaMail
