Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
What martial art does Earth know?
Geo-Jitsu.
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
A ship load of red paint crashed into a ship load of blue paint. The crews were marooned.
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
Claude Pepper
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
Why will you never see a realtor reading books?
Because books only have page numbers!
Do you know where I store all my dad jokes?
In a dad-a--base
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Baby owl.
Baby owl who?
Baby owl see you later at my place.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
“If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘Man, just be yourself.'” —Mitch Hedberg
Why did the fish make such a good musician?
He knew his scales.
Are you from South England? Cause you Brighton up my day.
“Sometimes, being silly with a friend is the best therapy.”
— Unknown
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
There's this vampire who's more powerful than any other, because he can't be hurt by the sun
All other vampires pale in comparison.
Are you a doughnut? Because I find you a-dough-rable.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough.
She asked the stock boy "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied "No they're dead."
I took my friend’s board game without him noticing.
He doesn’t have a Clue.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
Won't you wear my ring up around your neck
To tell the world I'm yours by heck!
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
What did the tree say to spring?
What a re-leaf!
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
What do you get when you cross Elon Musk and lobster bisque? A souped up car.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
Were you raised in captivity? Because you captured my heart.
What do you call a bully on Halloween? A jerk-o-lantern.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Let’s act like we’re a couple of colonists and do a few intolerable acts together.
If I had Jack Sparrow's compass, it'd be pointing at you.
Go to BabaMail
