Did all Europeans give Native Americans smallpox on purpose?
Or is that a blanket statement?
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.
Rita Rudner
Why did the ghost decide to become a vegan?
Because it's super natural.
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?"
God replies: "So you can love them, my child."
"Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?"
"So that they can love you back..."
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
Tomorrow is still a mystery.
Yesterday is already history.
And today it is your BIRTHDAY!
Did you hear that there’s a webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain?
It’s a site for sore eyes.
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
I fence-y you.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?
Oh wow sorry – I just got l’Austin your eyes.
How am I supposed to shamelessly flirt with you in the middle of the night when I don’t have your number?
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
The weather is almost as beautiful as you, m'lady.
what do people win at fancy grammar competitions.
a posh trophy.
A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
“We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I finish laughing.”
— Unknown
Like America to Hawaii in 1898, you’ve annexed my heart.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
I like bowling.
Seriously, it’s right up my alley.
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry
Me: It’s a sacrifice to the dryer gods.
My dad: It’s a sockrifice.
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Girl, you’re like Propofol. You’re a knockout.
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
Hey I am like a Rubik's cube the more you play with me the harder I get!
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
Why did Alexander not like eating chicken legs? Because he hated defeat.
Walk by a girl and say "Are you looking at me? And if she says no say "Damn!" You had me at your impeccable spelling and correct use of grammar.
In grammar you shouldn’t do double negatives.
It’s a no no.
Go to BabaMail
