Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Q: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
A: I don't know, the dentist kept it.
“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.”
- Leo Burke.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
Your Ph factor must be 14 because you’re the most basic need in my life right now.
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
You can take me home tonight, but only if Yuletide-y up your place.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
Do I know you? Because you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
What do you call a single, solitary kernel of corn?
A unicorn!
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
My attitude isn't bad.
It's in beta phase.
Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fool’s
They were literally born yesterday.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
If coloured caterpillars could change their colours constantly could they keep their coloured coat coloured properly?
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
What’s the only thing divorce proves?
Whose mother was right in the first place.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
What’s the least honest bone in the body?
The fibula.
"Slow runners make fast runners look good. Thank you."
From the back of a T-shirt
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