Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What is the ideal marriage? One between a deaf man and a blind woman
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
If it weren’t for the summer sun, you’d be the hottest thing ever created.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
We bee-long together.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
Why did the belt get arrested? Because he held up a pair of pants. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
I was talking to this guy about how I hate geometry. You know what he said to me.
You just have to look at it from a different angle.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
What’s the definition of a perpetual bachelor?
A man who’s missed the opportunity to make a woman miserable.
The only thing hotter than your body is the sun.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
What did the artist ask the preschooler? Can you count to pen?
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
How do you kill a blonde? Give her a gun and say it's a hair drier.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
You can tickle my ivories anytime, baby.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo.
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds.
He came, he thawed, he conquered.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
Go to BabaMail
