Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
"How do you shoot a killer bee?" "With a bee bee gun."
I was served by a former police officer at my local Applebee’s, I asked for a cup of water and he gave me a cup of ice instead and said
“Just-ice has been served”
There was a bald man who married his comb.
He promised, “I’ll never part with it!”
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Its easier than walking!
I like kittens, YEAH!
They are really fluffy, YEAH!
OMG KITTENS.
“What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus.”
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
I bet you’re Ethan better in person
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why was the physicist studying gravitational fields handsomer than the one studying electrical fields?
Electrical Fields may be repulsive at times, but Gravitational Fields are forever attractive.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
You're one in a melon.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Double
Double who?
W!
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
Good game--you certainly scored all your extra points with me.
Colors laugh by saying, "Hue Hue Hue."
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jess.
Jess who?
Jess let me in.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
- Winston Churchill
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
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