Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
What's a dancer's favorite Thanksgiving food?
Twerky
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Are you the sun?
Because you should stay 93 million miles away from me.
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
You are my density!
"People who say “Good morning” should be forced to prove it."
– Unknown
There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been born;
So he sat on a chair,
Till he died of despair,
That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
I met her in chat, she was neat,
her photo was pretty, petite.
we met for a meal,
I saw her for real,
I screamed and then ran down the street!
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just compliment it and then get mad when it won't screw.
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.”
- Phyllis Diller.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
These voices in my head have been telling me to come over here and talk to you.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?
A slow swimmer.
How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
I didn't know snow angels could fly as pretty as you skiing.
What is a teddy bear’s favorite Thanksgiving food?
Stuffing!
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
Even Santa doesn't make candy as sweet as you.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?
Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.
When I log my run in my journal today, it will say I ran with my future wife today.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Camel called.
He wants his toe back.
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.”
Woody Allen
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no-body to go with.
What did the young Toyota say to his mother when she asked what he wanted for dinner?
Taco ma
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus!
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
I didn’t know that my favorite Halloween treat came in life size!
Go to BabaMail
