How do you make a tissue dance? Put a bogey in it.
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver. What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Can February March? No. But April May.
What did Delaware? a New Jersey
Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Because it runs through your jeans. What would you do if I stole a kiss? Call the Police
What did the tailor think of her new job? It was sew sew.
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
Where do bulls get their messages? On a bull-etin board.
What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A water
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
What’s a good name for a detective?
Mr. E
What do you call a book that's about the brain? A mind reader.
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? Because he wanted to work over-time!
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A sour puss!
Why did the balloon burst? Because is saw a lolly pop.
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
I'm a cashew!
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
Q: Why did the pillow go to the doctor?
A: He was feeling all stuffed up!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? He wanted to get to the bottom.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog.
Q: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
A: I don't know, the dentist kept it.
Why was the weightlifter upset?
She worked with dumbbells.
Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered
What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
What runs but doesn't get anywhere? A refrigerator.
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
Whens the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time.
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
What did the digital watch say to his grandfather? Look grandpa no hands!
Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils?
Why did the barber win the race? Because he took a short cut.
Go to BabaMail
