"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller