"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae