“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett