"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley