"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”