"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green