“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike