"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"