"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho