Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.