A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.