An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!