My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.