Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.