Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.