I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*