A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.