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Weigh Jokes

Puns
How do you measure the heaviness of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
Anti Pick Up Lines
How much does a Polar Bear weigh?
I don't know.
About ten pounds less than you, fat-ass.
Fish Puns
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
One Liners for Kids
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Neither, they both weigh a ton!
Tree Puns
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Corn Puns
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.