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Dies Jokes

Funny Headlines
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Theater Puns
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Cowboy Puns
What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life?
Reintarnation
Puns
A guy named Bart walks into a bar, he immediately gets shot and dies. Who killed him?
The Bartender.
Cowboy Jokes
What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life?
Reintarnation
Anti Jokes
Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.
Troll Puns
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
Planet Puns
When a planet dies, does it get an orbituary?
Quotes
“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.”
E. B. White