Counted Jokes

A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
“I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more--that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangn
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.