A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
All farts...are laughing gas.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”