I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?