I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.