Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Rap.
Why didn’t the bouncer let the quavers into the bar?
Because they were slurring.
Why did the fish make such a good musician?
He knew his scales.
I wrote a song about a tortilla chip.
Actually, it's more like a wrap.
What song do vampires hate?
“You Are My Sunshine.”
How do you get a trombonist off your doorstep?
Pay them for the pizza.
What makes music on your head?
A headband.
What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra?
Thank you for every ting.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What is a robot’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal.
Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach!”
What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A music critic.
A while ago, my friend told me not to listen to loud music.
I haven’t heard from that guy since.
What did they say about the tone-deaf boy?
He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
What type of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.
What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
About three decibels.
I have a musician friend who is always upbeat. When she developed ringing in one ear, I asked whether her condition was especially annoying to a musician. She shook her head. “Not really,” she replied cheerfully. “The ringing sound is in the key of B flat, so I use it to tune my cello half a tone lower.”
What’s the difference between a conductor and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a conductor.
Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.
“Sorry,” the bartender says. “We don’t serve minors.”
What is another term for trombone?
A wind-driven, manually operated pitch approximator.
What do a sword and a piano have in common?
They can both B sharp.
What types of songs do planets sing?
Nep-tunes.
Where do pianists go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
They both perceive time as an abstract concept.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
She broke the record.
What’s Giuseppe Verdi’s favorite way to get around the airport?
La Travelator.
What do you call clean music?
A soap opera!
How does the sun listen to music?
On its ray-dio!
What do you get when you put a radio in the fridge?
Cool music.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.