Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.

Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.

A father was buying bass lessons for his son.
After the 1st week, the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, "On my 1st lesson, we learned about the E string."
The 2nd week came, and after the lesson, the father asked what had he learned that week. The son said, "On my 2nd lesson, I learned about the A string."
When the 3rd week came by, the father said to his son, "You know these are expensive lessons. What have you learned this week?"
The son said, "I quit the lessons. I already got a gig."

Why didn’t the bouncer let the quavers into the bar?
Because they were slurring.

Want to hear the joke about a staccato?
Never mind — it’s too short.

What’s the best Christmas present in the whole world?
A broken drum—you can’t beat it!

I wrote a song about a tortilla chip.
Actually, it's more like a wrap.

What is a cat’s favorite song?
“Three Blind Mice.”

Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.

Accordion to one study, people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument, but I don’t believe that tuba true.

- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Britney Spears.
- Britney Spears who?
- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Oops! I did it again!

What makes pirates such good singers?
They can hit the high Cs.

Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.

What types of songs do planets sing?
Nep-tunes.

Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.

What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
About three decibels.

What song do vampires hate?
“You Are My Sunshine.”

What has a neck but no head?
A bass.

A sign at a music shop: “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”

What do a sword and a piano have in common?
They can both B sharp.

What do you call a musician with problems?
A trebled man.

What is another term for trombone?
A wind-driven, manually operated pitch approximator.

How does the sun listen to music?
On its ray-dio!

What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrr!

What has forty feet and sings?
The school choir.

Why do fluorescent lights hum?
Because they forgot the words.

What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.

What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.

Why shouldn’t you let kids watch band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.

What type of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.

How many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes four movements.