What is a cat’s favorite song?
“Three Blind Mice.”
What makes pirates such good singers?
They can hit the high Cs.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
What is the most musical part of your body?
Your nose because you can blow and pick it.
What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes?
Kazoontite.
What’s the slang term for a harpsichord?
A Baroque man’s piano.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
A while ago, my friend told me not to listen to loud music.
I haven’t heard from that guy since.
How do you fix a broken brass instrument?
With a tuba glue.
Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.
“Sorry,” the bartender says. “We don’t serve minors.”
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Why is a piano so hard to open?
Because the keys are on the inside.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
What types of songs do planets sing?
Nep-tunes.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
How does the sun listen to music?
On its ray-dio!
Where do pianists go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because they put on the salsa.
Some might say the violinists in an orchestra don’t do much.
They just fiddle around.
I wrote a song about a tortilla chip.
Actually, it's more like a wrap.
Why was the musician arrested?
She got in treble.
What do you call a musical insect?
A humbug.
Why didn’t the bouncer let the quavers into the bar?
Because they were slurring.
What is another term for trombone?
A wind-driven, manually operated pitch approximator.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
How many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes four movements.
What song do tornados like?
“The Twist.”
What song do vampires hate?
“You Are My Sunshine.”
What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A music critic.
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Twelve - one to do it, and eleven to stand around and say, "Phhhwt! I can do that!"
Why did the fish make such a good musician?
He knew his scales.