What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock!

Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.

Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.
“Sorry,” the bartender says. “We don’t serve minors.”

What rock band has four guys that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.

Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.

A father was buying bass lessons for his son.
After the 1st week, the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, "On my 1st lesson, we learned about the E string."
The 2nd week came, and after the lesson, the father asked what had he learned that week. The son said, "On my 2nd lesson, I learned about the A string."
When the 3rd week came by, the father said to his son, "You know these are expensive lessons. What have you learned this week?"
The son said, "I quit the lessons. I already got a gig."

What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrr!

Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach!”

What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Rap.

What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.

What do you call clean music?
A soap opera!

What do you get when you put a radio in the fridge?
Cool music.

What type of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.

- Knock, knock!
- Who's there?
- Turnip.
- Turnip who?
- Turnip the volume, this is my all-time favorite song!

What makes music on your head?
A headband.

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.

The Mozart Effect: Makes a child smarter and more mathematical along with a higher IQ
The Haydn Effect: Child is witty and quick on his feet, quite often bringing a grin to the faces of those around him. Despite this he exhibits remarkable humility.
The Bach Effect: Child memorizes Scripture and says his prayers every day; may overwhelm listeners with his speech.
The Handel Effect: Much like the Bach Effect; in addition, the child may exhibit dramatic behavior.
The Beethoven Effect: Child develops a superiority complex and is prone to violent tantrums; is a perfectionist.
The Liszt Effect: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says anything important
The Bruckner Effect: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains a reputation for profundity.
The Grieg Effect: This child is quirky yet cheery. May be prone toward Norwegian folklore.
The Ives Effect: Child develops a remarkable ability to carry on several separate conversations at once.
The

What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra?
Thank you for every ting.

What’s the slang term for a harpsichord?
A Baroque man’s piano.

How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
He speeds up when he’s knocking.

What did the robbers take from the music store?
The lute.

What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes?
Kazoontite.

Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.

Steal a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a day.
But teach him to play an instrument and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.

What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaaa.

I wrote a song about a tortilla chip.
Actually, it's more like a wrap.

What do you get when you play country music backward?
You get your wife back, your dog back, and your job back.

What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.

What is the most musical part of your body?
Your nose because you can blow and pick it.

What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A music critic.

Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.

What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.