Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.