What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."