How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps