The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.