What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
I'm reading a romance book in Braille.
I don't think I'll finish. It's too touchy feely for me.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?
I want hue
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
From one vegan to another – I think you’re fern-tastic, and I’ll never leaf you baby.
Never has there been a more romantic story than how those two geologists met.
It was lava at first sight.
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
What did the painter say to his wife? "I love you with all my art!"
You're one in a melon.
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
I love you and I ain’t lion.
I love you deerly.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
We make a great pear