What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
I cannoli be happy
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
A toast to you:
You always know how to make everything butter.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
We are mint to be.
We make a great pear
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
You're my purr-son.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
"I wood never leaf you."
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
I get a real kick out of you.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
I scored when I met you.
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
From one vegan to another – I think you’re fern-tastic, and I’ll never leaf you baby.
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
Pugs and kisses.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
I love you and I ain’t lion.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
I love you and I ain’t lion.
"I'm nuts about you."
when I’m with you.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
You make miso happy.