While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
I’m soy
into you.
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
What did the painter say to his wife? "I love you with all my art!"
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
Some bunny loves you.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
I’m soy into you.
Your love will always be up to par.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
I scored when I met you.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
You’re udder-ly perfect.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
Owl always love you.
You octopi my thoughts.
"You bake me crazy."
when I’m with you.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
I pitcher us together forever.
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
You met all of my koala-fications
I love you berry much.
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.