Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
I love you berry much.
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
We bee-long together.
I get a real kick out of you.
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
I whale always love you.
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
I’ll always be running-back to you.
I have bean
thinking about you.
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
You’re udder-ly perfect.
"I wood never leaf you."
I whale-y like you.
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
I love you-calpytus.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
I have bean thinking about you.
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
Pugs and kisses.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
Your love will always be up to par.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
"Yoda one for me."
What did the painter say to his wife? "I love you with all my art!"
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
I like you sow much.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.