My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.