My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.