Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.