A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!