Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.