What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"