I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.