I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.