How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.