Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.