Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball