A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.