What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.