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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.