Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".