How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.