I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.