I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline