Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!