Funny Yoga Quotes

These funny yoga quotes will make your day.

Funny Yoga Quotes

“Today’s good mood is sponsored by yoga.” – Unknown
“When in doubt, yoga it out.” – Unknown
“I only go to yoga to drink wine, so I’m good. I just throw the calories right back in.” – Kaley Cuoco
“I like tea and yoga, but I don’t do yoga.” – Moby
“Yoga class? I thought you said ‘pour a glass’.” – Unknown
“I’m actually banned from the Himalayas, because I’m too good at yoga.” – Judah Friedlander
“Namastay 6 feet away.” – Unknown
“I got chucked out of yoga class after misinterpreting Half-Moon Pose.” – Unknown
“I remember when yoga was called Twister.” – Unknown
“Sign for a beginner’s yoga class: Enquire Within.” – Unknown
“When Chuck Norris does yoga, the sun salutes him.” – Unknown
“Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions rather than jumping to them.” – Unknown
“Me to my students every day: Close your eyes. If you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open.” – Unknown
I rang up a yoga instructor and asked which class I should take. She said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t do Tuesdays.” – Unknown
“Yoga instructor just emailed to say class is moved and thanks for our flexibility.” – Unknown
“An instructor once gave the following cue in yoga class: “Relax your pancreas.” I don’t even know where my pancreas is, never mind how to relax it! I giggled for the rest of the class.” – Mel Farrimond
“Three things that never lie: Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants.” – Unknown
“How to get a yoga body: 1. Have a body 2. Do yoga.” – Unknown
"One meditator to another: Are you not thinking what I’m not thinking?" – Unknown
“I talked to a wild group last night. I knew it the minute someone yelled ‘Louder!’ during the silent meditation. – Robert Orben”
“I meditate and do yoga. I sit cross-legged and try not to levitate too much.” – Jeremy Brett
“Sorry for what I said before I yoga-ed.” – Unknown
“I tried yoga once but took off for the mall halfway through class, as I had a sudden craving for a soft pretzel and world peace.” – Terri Guillemets
“I’ve got 99 problems and I’m gonna go to yoga and solve about 53 of them.” -Unknown
“If you fall, I’ll be there. Love, Your Mat” -Unknown
“You are one yoga class away from a good mood.” – Unknown
“Yoga pants. Because jeans are stressful and you don’t need that in your life.” -Unknown
"Yoga is a way of getting totally drunk – not on alcohol but on life."

- Sadhguru
"Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I'll ever get to yoga."

- Grant Tucker
"What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners? Too many attachments!"

- Sadhana Yoga
"Is taco yoga a thing yet? Someone get on that."

- Chisty Lowe
"Calming the mind is yoga. Not just standing on the head."

- Swami Satchidananda
"You can close your eyes and imagine yourself in a relaxing place. Like on your sofa, not doing yoga."

- Grant Tucke
“I'm not napping this is savasana.”

- Berndt Vogel
"Yoga class helps me calm down from the agonizing stress of trying to get to yoga class on time."

– Sadhguru
“The only yoga stretch I've perfected is the yawn.”

- Grant Tucker.
“Medidation, because some questions can’t be answered by Google.” — Inner Balance Wear
“Yoga is 99% waste removal” — T.K.V Desikachar
“I do Yoga to relieve stress… Just kidding I drink wine in yoga pants.” — Anonymous
All my friends complaint about not feeling good, and are freaking out about their lives, and I’m just like, “There’s Yoga pose for that!” — Unknown
“I do yoga so that I can stay flexible enough to kick my own arse if necessary.” — Betsy Cañas Garmon
“I think yoga should be for everyone, not just the folks who change their name to something Hindu.” — Tara Stiles
“I think there should be holy war against yoga classes.” — Werner Herzog
“Let’s face it, I only practice yoga because the classes are always packed with beautiful women.” — Adam Levine
“A photographer gets people to pose for him. A yoga instructor gets people to pose for themselves.” — Terri Guillemets
“Yoga is almost like music in a way; there’s no end to it.” — Sting
“Yoga is too slow.” — Rob Gronkowski
“I really regret going to a Yoga class today… said no one ever.” — Unknown
“I’ve always loved yoga because you get to connect to a deep religious truth while stretching your legs.” — Katya Zamolodchikova
“When I’m under stress, I do yoga. It’s when I’m happiest that I have a problem with junk food.” — Britney Spears