“Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.”
Stanley from The Office
“Don’t be a jogger, they’re the one’s who find dead bodies.” – Amanda Brooks
“I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty.” – Wendy Liebman
“Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them.” – Unknown
“I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples.”
– Ryan Reynolds, actor
“Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much much harder.”
-Glennon Doyle, best-selling author
“Running: Cheaper than therapy.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt
Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two.
-Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
"Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people."
From a runner's T-shirt
"It's a hill. Get over it."
From a runner's T-shirt
"If found on ground, please drag to finish line."
From a runner's T-shirt
"Slow runners make fast runners look good. Thank you."
From the back of a T-shirt
"Your sweat is your fat crying. Keep it up."
From a runner's T-shirt
"Run like you stole something."
Unknown
"Remember, the second most important thing to choosing the right shoe is choosing the left one."
Unknown
"A good run is like a cup of coffee. I'm much nicer after I've had one."
Unknown
"Running won't solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework."
Unknown
"Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you."
Unknown
"Runner's logic: I'm tired. Let me go for a run."
Unknown
"Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet."
Unknown
"Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first."
From the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
"It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."
From an Adidas ad
"I believe that the good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street."
Neil Armstrong
"I don't believe in jogging. It extending your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging."
Marshall Brickman
"I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty."
Wendy Liebman
"I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly."
Bill Kirby
"If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise."
P.Z. Pearce
"Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas."
Esa Tikkannen
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."
Franklin Jones
"It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him."
Mike Royko
"Run like hell and get the agony over with."
Clarence DeMar
"How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you."
Jimmy Fallon
"Good things come slow. Especially in distance running."
Bill Dellinger
"If you feel bad at 10 miles, you're in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you're normal. If you don't feel bad at 26 miles, you're abnormal."
Rob de Castella
"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
William James
"It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it."
Brooks Johnson
"I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."
Rita Rudner
"Start slow, then taper off."
Walt Stack
"Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television."
Victoria Wood
"If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill."
Marty Stern
"Life is short. Running makes it seem longer."
Baron Hansen
"I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster."
Robin Williams
"Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run."
Jumbo Elliot
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
Erma Bombeck
"If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry, you will get over it."
Gene Thibeault
"If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway."
Don Kardong
"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."
Martin Mull
"There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys."
Gabrielle Zevin
"No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes."
Don Kardong
"Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."
Charles Schulz